We’re in Virginia and its snowing. We found a motel that’s only forty bucks a night. It’s cozy. And when I say cozy I mean it in a huddle-around-a-camp-fire-telling-stories kind of way. Only instead of a campfire we got a space heater and instead of a telling stories we’re watching the travel channel with hot ladies in the rain forest walking around with their titties hanging out. They hunt spider monkeys.

I just took my boots off.

Heather: “Jesus! Did your feet just fart?”