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Once Heather got naked and hugged a water fall. My friend Enzo was amazed. I was content. But I deep kind of content. The kind that reminds you of partying.
Once Heather got really stoned and pet a bumble bee. She pet lots of bumble bees actually.
Once Heather rugby tackled our friend May and knocked her knee out of socket. An ambulance came and took May to the hospital and Heather sat with me on the front steps and her face became puckered and she cried. She looked so sweet to me right then.
Once Heather danced by jump kicking her hand.
Once and I broke up and I cried non stop for a month. She dyed her hair purple because she knew I hated the color purple. She thought it would be Grimbol repellent. It didn’t work. We made out in my minivan and decided to get back together.
Once Heather and I went on a long road trip where we drove around the country only taking back roads. Many nights i would talk about how tender and ghostly I felt driving through small unknowable towns. “Why can’t you just enjoy being with me?” she said.
Once Heather and I found a guy lying in the middle of the road in south west Texas. We drove him to the hospital. The next day his wife found us and bought us wine.
Once Heather tried to get naked in a bar called The Dirty D in Astoria Oregon. We went back the next day and she was embarrassed until the bar tender came over and hugged her and told her she was wonderful.
Once Heather and I listened to Stephen King on audio book and got really scared.
Once Heather had me watch Magik Mike for the third time at a drive in in Maine, where she grew up.
Here’s the thing about Heather. She likes to catch me crying while watching sappy movies. It makes her happy. It makes her laugh. I cry easily.
Here’s the thing. Heather and I got married this day a couple years ago. It was hot. The church was in Fort Davis Texas, far away from my ghosts which tended to hide out in upstate NY and VT. I cried during the service, thinking, how warm Heather look and how nice it is to feel haunted like this with another person. We had friends with us and we group hugged. We celebrated. Everyone got drunk and many people got naked danced around. Except me. I was surprised by how sober i was that night. How much I enjoyed celebrating Heather. That big butt. Those even bigger raunchy eyes.

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